Monday, April 27, 2015

Be Considerate

If we take the simple definition of this phrase as: Be careful to not cause inconvenience or hurt to others. How can we, as a community, make sure we are not inconveniencing or hurting others? 

We all could sit around this global campfire, and chat about how we have not been shown consideration, how we have been wronged and how we have in someway been injured by others. This is very easy to do, we like to shine a spotlight on ourselves and sometimes show our wounds.

I could fill several blog pages with my woes, and my injuries; I could talk about my family, my friends, my coworkers, my job or that little blue Kia that cut me off on the way home, but I won't, because I am no saint: I have caused inconvenience and pain to others. I believe it is human nature to try to elevate ourselves, and that means sometimes we walk on other people to get to the top.

When we are striving to get to that pinnacle, How do we do that without climbing over other people? 

In the post Excellence, I mentioned that getting to the top is great, but where do you go once you are there. The only way to go is down. There are some people that live on the pinnacle,  but to me not advancing or declining is stagnation, and that - I believe - is worse.

I believe the best way to be the best you can be, it by helping other people, and surrounding yourself with people that help people. I have such people in my Google Plus family - Adele Archer, Jeremy Crow, Nael Noaman, Matt Banner and Luna Darcy just to name a few. These people are very positive people and they always offer a kind word of encouragement and an uplifting message.

The opposite to causing hurt, is encouragement.

I was nominated for the Liebster award. This encouraged me: encouraged me to do better, to write more and let me know that my voice was being heard. This was consideration. That is what I am taking about.

What I see on Google Plus, is people encouraging people. Now that is not to say that I haven’t seen the opposite.

I was going through my feed, and there was a picture of a woman straddling two truck beds. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt - nothing pornographic. Usually I don’t stop and stare, but a comment caught my attention. Someone commented on that picture, “You look stupid.” 

Why was this necessary to say?

When I was a child, there was a saying, “If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all.” 

I remember, there was a kid in my neighborhood, and we did not like each other at all. He was always saying things to me, and I was always saying things back. One day I saw a group of kids down at the end of the street, and they were encircling something or somebody. Being inquisitive by nature, I went to check it out. 

There was CJ, talking smack about me, and I entered the circle. He looked at me and said something about my mom, and I said something in return, and quite frankly I don't remember what I said, but I got punched in the face: I ended up on the street, and CJ walked away. Lesson: say something mean, get punched in the face.

I am not saying we should go around punching people in the face, just because they say something or do something we don’t like. CJ and I were both in the wrong. What I am saying, and what I took with me from this experience is: We need to be considerate with everyone, we need to consider everyone’s feelings without regard to our own, and that will reciprocate. 

Where am I going with all of this? We need to be nice to one another. Remember, when we take our eyes off of ourselves, and stop putting ourselves first, and we start building others up, and helping them along the way - we will be built up. When we give others hope and we encourage others, we will have hope and encouragement too.



  2. Over time I learned to care more about being helpful than popular. There was a time when I cared more about being popular and it drove me nearly insane. That is the most important blogging tip I could ever give anyone, and I am happy that you learned that without me even having to say it.

    1. You are so right Jeremy, and we see in the world people being less caring and striving to be more popular, successful or better than the next guy. This mentality is driving the world insane; as ripples in the proverbial pond, I hope this little stone I have thrown will some how, break out of the blogosphere and into the world, and there can be peace and love. Lofty expectations for words on a computer screen I know, but one can only hope. Thank you sir for having my back, and for your comments

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  4. Really good post, Thomas. Being considerate is something that is often lacking in this day and age. I am also grateful to all of the wonderful people that I have met in the blog-osphere.

  5. Thank you very much for your kind words. You are so right, consideration is lacking. We are lucky for the people we have met; I'm glad you stopped by, you are one of those wonderful people.