Be Considerate

If we take the simple definition of this phrase as: Be careful to not cause inconvenience or hurt to others. How can we, as a community, make sure we are not inconveniencing or hurting others? 

We all could sit around this global campfire, and chat about how we have not been shown consideration, how we have been wronged and how we have in someway been injured by others. This is very easy to do, we like to shine a spotlight on ourselves and sometimes show our wounds.

I could fill several blog pages with my woes, and my injuries; I could talk about my family, my friends, my coworkers, my job or that little blue Kia that cut me off on the way home, but I won't, because I am no saint: I have caused inconvenience and pain to others. I believe it is human nature to try to elevate ourselves, and that means sometimes we walk on other people to get to the top.

When we are striving to get to that pinnacle, How do we do that without climbing over other people? 

In the post Excellence, I mentioned that getting to the top is great, but where do you go once you are there. The only way to go is down. There are some people that live on the pinnacle,  but to me not advancing or declining is stagnation, and that - I believe - is worse.

I believe the best way to be the best you can be, it by helping other people, and surrounding yourself with people that help people. I have such people in my Google Plus family - Adele Archer, Jeremy Crow, Nael Noaman, Matt Banner and Luna Darcy just to name a few. These people are very positive people and they always offer a kind word of encouragement and an uplifting message.

The opposite to causing hurt, is encouragement.

I was nominated for the Liebster award. This encouraged me: encouraged me to do better, to write more and let me know that my voice was being heard. This was consideration. That is what I am taking about.

What I see on Google Plus, is people encouraging people. Now that is not to say that I haven’t seen the opposite.

I was going through my feed, and there was a picture of a woman straddling two truck beds. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt - nothing pornographic. Usually I don’t stop and stare, but a comment caught my attention. Someone commented on that picture, “You look stupid.” 

Why was this necessary to say?

When I was a child, there was a saying, “If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all.” 

I remember, there was a kid in my neighborhood, and we did not like each other at all. He was always saying things to me, and I was always saying things back. One day I saw a group of kids down at the end of the street, and they were encircling something or somebody. Being inquisitive by nature, I went to check it out. 

There was CJ, talking smack about me, and I entered the circle. He looked at me and said something about my mom, and I said something in return, and quite frankly I don't remember what I said, but I got punched in the face: I ended up on the street, and CJ walked away. Lesson: say something mean, get punched in the face.

I am not saying we should go around punching people in the face, just because they say something or do something we don’t like. CJ and I were both in the wrong. What I am saying, and what I took with me from this experience is: We need to be considerate with everyone, we need to consider everyone’s feelings without regard to our own, and that will reciprocate. 

Where am I going with all of this? We need to be nice to one another. Remember, when we take our eyes off of ourselves, and stop putting ourselves first, and we start building others up, and helping them along the way - we will be built up. When we give others hope and we encourage others, we will have hope and encouragement too.

End douchebaggery - A rant

OK, first this article might offend some people, and if you are offended by words, like the one in the title, please do not read on - I do not wish to offend anyone. Second, I was told not to rant so much, because people don’t like to read rants; I was also told not to smoke - I didn't listen to that either. Right or wrong, here I go.

I was reading a post from a new blogger, she was saying that she was ready to quit, and wanted to know what people thought of her decision. I wrote to her, and gave her some ideas; I was being positive with her. She was fragile, and she thanked me.

Then not two hours later, this douchebag gets on her post and says, (and I paraphrase) “You think you can just sit down and start a blog, real bloggers…” WTF dude! She needs encouragement, she needs to grow. You weren't born to be a blogger, you were not born with a keyboard in your hand (if you were, I am sorry for your mother), and you had to start somewhere. Who was your inspiration, who taught you the ropes and who gave you encouragement?

I like people who are positive, and helpful. People that lend a helping hand - ones that don’t forget from where they came.

In my “Brick and Mortar” I called a customer back for a co-worker. I was pre-warned that this customer was difficult, but difficulty was not what I experienced

After my greeting, the customer lit into me and started swearing and using fowler language than I heard in my twelve years in the Navy.

After he was done, he said, “I would never speak that way to a woman, but you are a man, and I will speak that way, because I am a man.”

No, dude, you are a douchebag.

Being a male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, being a Gentleman is a matter of choice and effort. There are a lot of men out there, but to change from being a man to a Gentleman takes effort on the part of the subject. 

Being merely a man, beating your chest, dragging your mate by her hair to your cave and chasing off beasts with your club: You are dangerously close to being a douchebag.

My point is, we need to be nice to each; for instance, I was connecting to a blogger named Matt Banner from OnBlastBlog.com, this is an awesome guy, and I really liked his blog. He then sent me a message saying “Thanks for the +1.” Wow, that was really nice! and then I thought how many times did someone +1 me, and did I thank them? To be honest, I never have done that. 

So apparently I need to update my Gentlemanliness and decrease my Douchebaggery: So, here's to change.