I ask myself this question quite a lot. What am I afraid of? Why am I afraid? Lastly, How can I get over my fear?
What am I afraid of?
Since I became an adult, I do not really fear much. I am not saying I am fearless; I just don’t fear much. I have encountered many things in my 46 years, and I know there are no monsters in the dark.
However, I do fear some things.
I have stated in previous posts that I want to be a freelance writer. This would require me to put myself out there, and to be completely honest - putting myself out there is very terrifying. I feel completely naked, and that is the most uncomfortable feeling ever.
Just the other night, I received a request for bidding for a job. I was very interested in the job, so I clicked on the link, and it took me to a bidding area. All of a sudden thoughts filled my head - “Who do you think you are, you’re not good enough.”
I hesitated, and missed the opportunity. I would say another will come along, but that is not the first time I froze.
Why am I afraid?
There are many reasons to be afraid, and logically they are to keep yourself safe. I have been told this is programed into our genes; when we were living in caves, we would try to keep from getting killed from all sorts of dangers. That is our “Fight or Flight” responses.
What I am afraid of, I believe, is failure. I don’t wish to fail at writing. So this feeling of insecurity is me not wishing to fail - however, by not doing anything at all: I fail.
I see this a lot in other things as well. Some people don’t like to self promote. As a writer, self promotion is a very difficult skill to master. We don’t like to put ourselves out there, because there is the chance of not being accepted.
Once we can get over the feeling of people rejecting us, we can move forward and concur.
How can I get over my fear?
I already touched on this, but lets look at this a little closer.
When we don’t promote ourselves, we demote ourselves. We become our worst enemy. If we aren’t for us, nobody else can be for us. We need to be our best friend, and we need to promote ourselves.
How do we get to that point where we can get over our fear. I know in previous posts I was talking about my dad teaching me to dive off a diving board. The first time my older brother was to jump off the diving board, he stopped, shaking in fear, closed his eyes, folded his hands and started to pray. Then he would jump in.
He stopped and prayed every time. But he always jumped.
Sometimes I need to live by his example. I need to stop, embrace my fear, close my eyes, fold my hands, pray and then jump in.