I have been writing pretty steady since January, and I am very happy with the success of what I have done. This is better than any other attempt I have made with my writing. But the wheels are getting stuck.
I have sat down here to write and opened up a vain, but for some reason the words aren’t coming out like they were: I am not able to just take a word or an idea and run with it.
I do admit, where I do the most of my writing is here at my “Brick and Mortar,” but the atmosphere is not quite conducive for original thought; with the primary colors on the walls to offset the beige cubicles, the ivory desks, the cold monitors and the grey phone, The carpets are even a bleck color (somewhere between brown and yuck).
There is a motivational poster that hangs near my cubical that says, “Are you the weakest link?” which is kind of anti-motivational.
I suppose what I am saying, is I am lacking motivation. I find it hard to have motivation here at my “Brick and Mortar,” and (as I yawn for the hundredth time today) I am finding it hard to have creative thought.
I need to break out of this funk, I have felt out of sorts since I got sick with the flu, and now I am just sitting here, marking time.
I tried to play music, but my boss told me to turn it off (I guess not everyone likes Bon Jovi). I am stuck in the doldrums, I just thought it would be warmer.
So I know this post is a little on the whiny side, and for that I am sorry, but this is something I believe we all are faced with from one time or another. Getting those new ideas, creating words that inspire and crafting ideas that motivate. When those are fleeting from us, how do we get them back?
So I sit here in my beige cubical and ponder what I can do next. I know there are atrocities that need to be righted, and injustices in the world - which I can tackle.
I have written a bit of fiction, but it is not ready for public eyes yet, and perhaps it might never be.
I have to remember - it is alright to fail, it is alright to fall on my face, because the failure will not define me. I suppose that is the biggest thing that stops me. I am facing a wall that is over a thousand feet tall, but it is only a meter wide. I just have to go around it.
So here I go, failure or not, I am going to step around that wall. Please catch me if I fall.